Suggested Rules
for Kids on the Internet

by Maria Chesley Fisk, Ph.D.

There is so much to learn online, and there is so much to worry about! If you are considering allowing your child to visit YouTube, participate in Facebook, or otherwise be online, also consider rules and how you will monitor those rules. Parents need to be involved. Agreeing to some rules can help you maintain a friendly and respectful relationship and use technology in ways that are positive and reduce the risk of negative consequences. Here are some suggested rules:

1. Decide on a total amount of computer time allowed each day or week and a system for keeping track. Time on a computer may be required for schoolwork, so the decision might be about free time on the computer.

2. Take a break from looking at the computer screen at least every 30 minutes (if on that long). Suggest that your child do jumping jacks for a few minutes, get a snack, take a walk, talk to someone, whatever -- just give the eyes a break and the body a chance to move. Adults should do this, too!

3. Limit multi-tasking to what is absolutely necessary. If it's time to do homework, turn off everything else possible -- email, phone, iPod, etc. The same goes if your child is playing an online game just for fun. By putting everything else on hold, our brains get a better chance to concentrate on the task at hand. Neuroscientists have found that the vast majority of people who think they are good multi-taskers really aren't. What's worse, habitual multitasking may teach our brains not to think deeply. So do one thing at a time when you can!

4. Require your child to treat people with respect and keep things positive -- no matter how they communicate with others. Wondering whether a comment is appropriate to post online or not? If you wouldn't say it in person or "to their face," don't make the comment online.

5. Decide what, if anything, your child is allowed to share online without asking your permission. Email address? First name? If you don't feel comfortable, there's no harm in asking your child to check with you before he gives *any* information. Your explanation as to why you will or will not give information to individual sites will help your child learn about the ways of the internet and may eventually lead to a different set of privacy permissions when he is more knowledgeable.

6. Limit games and websites to those that are rated to be appropriate for your child's age and/or you feel comfortable with in terms of language, sexual content, and level of violence. Violent games have been shown to make players feel more fearful and more aggressive. Even if you are not sure this happens to your child, why not just let her play something else? Understand the video game rating system and consider Common Sense Media's reviews of games and websites.

Without being secretive, consider using parental controls if you are unable or prefer not to closely monitor your child's time online. Parental controls can be a useful tool that allows children more independence while helping keep them safe and mindful of the length of time they have been on the computer. There are downloadable options, as well as built-in options in Windows 7, Windows Vista, and Mac OS.

Talk with your child about these rules, modify and come to agreement on them, and add any other rules that make sense for you. Talk about the changes that will be necessary if the rules are not followed. Revisit your rules every month or so to keep them updated as appropriate and fresh in your minds. Enjoy supporting your child as she grows in knowledge, experience with technology, and responsibility!